So here is a little bit of rambling
out of my head. I just typed it out as I thought it, so it isn't necessarily pretty or
poetic. You may even find it confusing, but I too get muddled in my own
thoughts sometimes:
I am constantly shocked, surprised,
and convicted about how little I know of people. One of my major faults is that
I am very quickly judgmental of someone, even when I don’t actually know
them, their thoughts, true feelings, circumstances, recent happenings or
struggles. I don’t know their hearts, and so often it’s far more than I
ever imagine or give them credit for.
I like to try and figure people
out, but the more I try the more I realize I don’t know. I’d like to think that
I can know and understand someone, but I’m actually so naive to what’s really
going on. I think I can perceive or “figure them out”, and then I find out
something and realize that I was utterly wrong. I could only see their actions,
but I was never aware of their hearts.
I always have the stumbling block
of my own thoughts, perceptions, judgments, and others opinions that cause me
to be blind to who they really are. I may think I’ve got a pretty good idea
until I fall over that barricade that I didn’t know was there. Constantly I
find myself falling face first, and never being aware of my blindness until I
tripped. I get so frazzled over it all, too. I want to know…oh so badly I want
to know people. I mean, really know them. I want to understand their
hearts, and I want to know what’s actually going on.
But I can never know everything…that’s
only for God. A friend told me that I just have to trust the Lord with the
information I have. I need to ask the Lord for wisdom in my estimation of
people, and I need to be extremely careful of how I judge them. I need to love
them for who they are even if they aren’t “my kind” of person. I have so far to
go…oh so far.
The Lord keeps pointing this out to
me. There have been so many times in the last few weeks that I’ve learned
something new from someone, I’ve been enlightened on something, or I’ve been
able to see another side that again and again I’ve been shocked at how little
of the puzzle I could really see. I’m only one little person in an immense
world of people, circumstances, emotions, pain, secrete thoughts, backgrounds,
buried anger, and people seeking the Lord’s will. It’s so hard to know…and
therefore I must lean on the Lord even more. In my ignorance I must trust in
the Lord’s infinite knowledge.
Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding:
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord, 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways.'"
Proverbs 28:26a says, "He who trusts in his own heart is a fool..."
